KNOWING AND WALKING WITH HIM DAILY
“If you love me, keep my commandments. And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you, for ever; even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.” John 14:15-17
There have been times in my life when more that anything else, I wanted to know that I abided in the Lord.
I needed to know that He was with me.
I had heard and read the testimony of mighty men and women who related how near God was to them. How He went with them to work, how He directed every decision no matter how small the matter.
He was a Friend, near and never far away unreachable and detached.
I desired that relationship also.
I began a ritual of setting aside a certain time for prayer for study for seeking Him for honest evaluation of my life and the forgiveness of things that I knew would not be Holy in His sight.
I would end by beseeching God to live in me and through me.
I needed to know for certain that He was taking complete control of my life.
Time after time I kept my appointment with the Lord.
During the day, I would find times to escape and seek His face, with a prayer in my heart and the little pocked Testament that I am rarely without, in my hand.
Always seeking His abiding presence.
Occasionally, I would be seen kneeling, praying, weeping, and seeking, and the question would always come, either sooner or later, the person or persons, who observed such strange behavior in such odd places would ask, “What were you doing when we saw you?” I knew that I could not lie about seeking the fullness of God within me.
My answer was always the same. “I am seeking the infilling of the Holy Spirit.”
They never asked the same question twice. How could they? It is quite likely that none of them had any idea at the time what I had meant.
After quite some time, frustration began to set in.
I questioned why it was that I had to work so hard to know God in His fullness, when the saints of old and those whom I had been privileged to meet over my life and the witness of their testimonies told a different story with better results.
I began to remember those testimonies. They were absolutely beautiful.
They related how God was, especially close---just right there in front of them, beside them, behind them, inside of them.
Why did I struggle so hard to realize the same closeness?
Then and there the God of the universe spoke to me within my heart, I have heard his voice before and realize there is a difference in how He says, what He intends.
The voice spoke “I was there the first time you sought me. Do you not remember? I was there watching as you knelt in the pool of blood at the foot of the cross. You knew my forgiveness and the peace that follows in very real and personal (to you) way. I have always arrived early at the place that I knew you would seek me. I have been faithful to hear your every perceived need. I have longed to live through you in more powerful ways. The urgency that you feel in your innermost being, is what I have placed in you that makes you unique among all of my people.”
It was just as He had said, there has been a splendor of His presence since the first time that I truly desired only Him.
It then occurred to me that I was seeking the experience of others, rather than allowing God to work in me and through me in a way that He deemed, something just between Himself and me.
He had never held me aloof, He had not kept His presence at a distance. He was most faithful and punctual.
From that day until today, I continually thank God for His abiding presence--heart to heart.
When others ask me, “How do I know the presence of the Lord?”
I simply tell them to earnestly ask.
Time after time they relate to me the same results. He was there all along.
He longed to deal with them individually.
God keeps His word.
He promises to abide, if we only ask.